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James Franco opens up about his sexuality. But Jim had a secret. For men who have already married women, that self-acceptance is often tangled shame, betrayal, guilt and dread. He knew he had been attracted to men in adolescence, but it was something he tried not to think about. This leads to people not living their authentic lives, nasty divorces, children who question their own sexuality after a parent comes out and numerous other problems, not to mention unhappy endings not the massage kind.

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‘Honey, I’ve got a secret’ : When gay men come out to their wives


There are also online groups where these guys exchange their stories, get support for their dual lives and find the occasional hookup. His wife discovered her high school sweetheart was gay. In the end, one way or another, almost all men who reach out to the group end up coming out. The truth is, married men have too much baggage and too many rules! Of course, I have no cold hard facts to prove this statement, but I don't need them.

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While I was married, it gave me a false sense of security to mess around with other married "straight" men. They laugh, they cry, they gossip. All I need is a computer, an Internet connection and an hour of free time. And if you don't know who that is, you should be turning 50 shades of red right now in shame! It was at the climax of one of their arguments that the truth came tumbling out. In most cases they do this on their own terms, but sometimes they are outed when wives discover emails, internet histories, Grindr use or text conversations.

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